Hyper's Fanfic Showdown 2013
by HyperInuyasha
Summary: Sixteen characters that I frequently write fanfics about has been brought together to battle to the death. Why? For shits and giggles, apparently. [Prologue] (Contains: Super Smash Brothers, Yume Nikki and fangames, OFF, and Ed Edd n Eddy.)
1. Chapter 1

**HYPER'S FANFIC SHOWDOWN 2013**

**by HyperInuyasha**

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

The city of Bismark, a sea of pink buildings, is deserted. However, seventeen souls from various places are atop Bismark's library, baffled. None of them know how they got there, and half of them had no idea who everybody else was. The winds blew around them as they share greetings and accusations among each other. However, withstanding the wind, there is one person who knew the truth.

Unfortunately, this person happens to be an asshole. "Hello, guys! I am HyperInuyasha, author of dumb fanfics across categories that suit my fancies, and I've managed to bring you all to this story for a special event!"

A yellow, grumpy rat, Pikachu, smacks himself in the face with his paw. "Damn it, I knew it was you, Hyper. Why the hell are we here..." He then glances at everybody who isn't featured in my Super Smash Brothers stories (aka half of them). "...and who the hell are those guys?"

"...Rude..." a girl, the pink-sweatered hikikomori Madotsuki, murmurs.

"All will be answered in due time... for now, why don't you introduce yourselves?" Hyper shoves a microphone into the hands of Meta Knight, a short, spherical knight. "Give a brief description of yourself, as well as the stories you've appeared in - be sure to pass it around!"

Meta Knight paused a bit to collect his confused thoughts before speaking into the mic. "I am Meta Knight, character from the Kirby series, and apparently, a very high tier fighter in Super Smash Brothers. I happen to be a main character in most of yo-"

"Shh, refer to me in third person!"

"...er, I happen to be a main character in most of Hyper's Super Smash Brothers fanfics. Okay Fox, I'll pass this to you..."

A bipedal fox eagerly took the microphone. "Yo! I'm Fox, and I may be an idiot, but I'm an idiot that knows how to pilot planes and drive - neat, huh? I was in..." he looks at Meta Knight and Pikachu. "...I'm usually with them! Yeah!"

Pikachu groaned and starts his turn. "I'm Pikachu, and I'm usually nice, unless, you piss me the hell off. I'm a main character for Hyper's stupid "Trapped in a Mansion" stories, "Attack of Giygas", and "The War Against Giygas". ...Now can you tell me why we're here?"

"Nope!" the author says cheerfully. "Now, pass the mic already!"

A bipedal blue bird is next to talk, giving everybody around him a look. "My name is Falco, and I'm like Fox in every way, except I'm less stupid. Thankfully, I'm only a main character in only one of this jerk's stories - "The Normals.""

A Lucario (who, for the uninformed, is a Steel/Fighting Pokemon that's pretty damn cool) took the microphone. "Um, I'm Lucario, and I was one of the main characters in "The Normals". ...Hyper, why is this city desola-"

"Next person!" Hyper shouts.

"Hey, I'm King Dedede!" a rotund penguin in a robe said into the microphone. "I was also main character in "The Normals" - the experience wasn't fun." he frowns. "But hey, I'm still alive, and I'm still better than Kirby!"

A robot fumbles with his arms in his attempt to hold the mic. Upon having dropped it several times, he decides to just use his built-in one. "I AM ROB, ALSO KNOWN TO SOME AS THE ANCIENT MINISTER, ADMINISTRATOR OVER THE SMASHERS. I'M A SUPPORTING CHARACTER IN ALL OF HYPER'S SUPER SMASH BROTHERS STORIES."

A twitchy green plumber bends over and picks up the dropped microphone. "Er... I'm-a Luigi and I was in "Diary of... a Loser" and "A Shopping Trip"... can I-a go home?"

Hyper gestures to him to just pass it on.

Madotsuki takes the microphone, moving the list of people away from those in Super Smash Bros fanfics. "I am Madotsuki. I was in "Yume Who", "The Bowling Tourney", and "Three Friends and a Rollercoaster..." um... I sleep a lot and... here, you have it..."

A smiling blonde girl takes over. "Hey, I'm Urotsuki, and I kill people for fun~! I have my own story called "Diary of a Psychopath" and I star in all of the Yume 2kki one-shots Hyper has!" Instead of passing the microphone, she throws it.

Before the object struck a boy wearing a hat, a white haired girl catches it. "I'm Sabitsuki, and look, I may be pretty hardcore and violent, but I'm not as nuts as smiley over there." she points at Urotsuki, who offers a weak wave. "I'm in "The Bowling Tourney" and all those other .flow stories. Here, take the damn mike, Smile." she offered the microphone to a raven haired boy with an unsettling grin.

"Thanks, sweetheart."

"Oh, shut up~."

"K. I'm Smile, and I'm in "The Bowling Tourney", "Disagreements", and "The Rusted Arm of Justice"; with my girlfriend, Sabi."

Most of the people present goes d'aaaw, prompting Sabitsuki to curse at them while blushing.

In the adorable confusion, a tall, nearly bald boy with a green jacket, leaned over and picked the microphone out of Sabitsuki's hands with his teeth. Upon noticing, everybody could only watch as the boy devours the microphone. "Delicious! Tastes static-y!"

A shorter boy with only three hairs growing out of his head groans. "Ed, you idiot!"

"Huh? Oh right! I am Ed, and I always hang out with Double D and Eddy because they're my bestest friends!"

More d'aaws as the short boy reaches his hand into Ed's gaping maw to pull out the lost device.

Making a disgusted look, he successfully pulls his (drool covered) arm out with the microphone. "Right... I'm Eddy, and I'm the king at scams! ...I sorta gave that up awhile ago, but ya know, it sounds cool. I'm in "EdManji", "Hide and Seek", "MonopolEd", "Fallen Eds", "Ed's Dumb Story as Written by Ed" and "Ed's Stupid Gravy Quest"."

"Those aren't the real names of the last two." Hyper whispered.

"Whatever." he tosses the microphone over to the hat wearing boy from earlier.

"I'm... uh... Eddward, but you can call me Edd, or, Double D. I unfortunately have to spend my accursed days in Hyper's fanfictions - but at least I'm with my companions. I'm sure that I'm in all the ones mentioned by Eddy except for Edmanji and..." his eyes look at everybody else appraisingly. "...My, it's quite intimidating up here."

"Why are we even on top of a building, anyway?" Lucario asks while raising his arm, which the author promptly ignores because he's a scumbag.

The last person, a monochrome-looking baseball player, takes the mike. "I am the Batter, and I am on a holy mission to purify the world of specters. I am in "Three Friends and a Rollercoaster", "Father and Daughter", "Stress", and "OFF: The Unflattering Rewrite"."

Hyper claps his hands together, smiling. "That's the last person! Now, what do you guys think of each other?"

The characters all exchange looks with varying emotions, afraid stares at the more intimidating people, curious stares at some of the more oddball ones. Eventually, all eyes chose to look at Hyper, still seeking answers as to why they were all there.

"...Well, I hope that you all hate each other because..." thunder dramatically claps in the distance as Hyper makes the most anime pose you could think of, "...you will all participate in a death match against each other!"

A silence goes over the characters.

"..._Excuse me?_" a completely shocked Eddward said, breaking the silence.

"What." Madotsuki said.

Dedede had his mouth wide open for a few seconds before speaking. "Why would you do this?"

"Why?" Hyper chuckled. "Because I can!"

Before everybody could maul the dumb as shit writer, they hear something revving: a chainsaw. They look over to Urotsuki, who was holding the malicious tool, giving everybody a wide smile. "Now this is an idea I can get behind."

Hyper frowns. "Um, I didn't even explain the rule ye-"

Ed, who spent the past while thinking, produces a light bulb above his head, a realization striking him. "Oh, I've seen a death match in Space Roman Gladiator #3! Okay, I'll be Space Caeser, and I will toss your salads!"

"No, Ed!" Eddy and Double D screamed.

"Oh goddamnit." Hyper said as the fighting begins.

"...tsk... taste my purificatory wrath, blonde devil!" the Batter screeched, ignoring the gash at his side.

"You want to bring it, big guy?" Falco (who had a bruise on his face given by Ed) says, raising his fists, "You chose the wrong person to mess with!"

"...Maybe I should stop writing about crazy people..." Hyper mused. "...Well... we should probably cut to a commercial while I deal with this..."

* * *

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Two Toad boys sat down on the sidewalk, the hot sun bearing down on them and draining them of their sweat. However, the heat wasn't their biggest concern. You see, these two boys happened to be... **_bored_**.

"...Man, I wish something cool can happen. Bowser hasn't, like, kidnapped the princess in like, a month!"

"Did you-a say you were-a bored?" a voice said from who-knows-where. Then, a warp pipe rose out of the ground in front of the boys and out jumped the red-capped crusader...

"Mario!" the two boys said simultaneously.

"Hello! I'm-a here with something to-a sa-" Suddenly, a magical space rift opened up behind Mario and out came Link. Before Mario could react, Link launched his sword at him, sending the plumber into a convenient wall and knocking him out cold.

"I'll be telling them, Mario." Link said. "Now kids, on Ju-"

With no apparent entrance, Pikachu suddenly rocketed in with a skull-bash, ricocheting Link into an also convenient lamp post, which still conveniently knocked him out as well. "Okay, listen here, you little shits-"

An Arwing flew overhead. The Pokémon looked up in alarm as Fox dropped down and punted him into the distance with a single kick. "Sorry!" Fox called out apologetically. He looked down onto the children, to deliver the same message everybody was trying to deliver. But... "...What was I supposed to say again?"

Then a Warp Star crashed into Fox, blasting him into space. Kirby hopped down from the remains of his Warp Star, cheerfully waving. "Hi! I'm here to tell you tha-"

Another ship flew through the air and this time, Samus Aran fell from the sky. She kicked Kirby into the air and fired a missile into his face, making the puffball fly through the air. "Okay, I'm only going to say this once. On June 11-"

She yelped as she was picked up by Donkey Kong. The ape placed her into one of those barrels that blast people around and she got blasted up toward the sun. Donkey Kong turned around and looked at the two boys, who were now fearful of what else to come. The ape glanced around to make sure that no one was going to jump him, leaned in toward the boys, and said:

"New Super Smash Brothers trailer. Coming June 11th."

Then Donkey Kong made some ape-y noises, grabbed a vine that conveniently came down from the sky and swung away to who-the-fuck-cares.

Yoshi walked onto the scene, looking at the destruction around the two starstruck boys with worry. "...Was I too late?"

**END OF ADVERTISEMENT**

* * *

Everybody is now alive and well, but now, they were giving each other glares (most of them directed at Urotsuki and Ed). Hyper put away his case of Phoenix Downs and Hi Potions before saying, "Okay, now, if you all calm down for a damn minute, I'll tell you the rules to this game."

"BY ALL MEANS." ROB (who had tape all over him), responds.

"Right. Anyway, you are all here in Bismark, or, Zone 2, of the game, OFF, where the Batter hails. While the place does seem deserted now, trust me, it will change over time.

"Since it would be too time-consuming and weird to constantly switch point of views between sixteen people, I decided to put you all into teams of two."

"Teams?" says Meta Knight, raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah, teams."

"Ha, well that makes things easier." Eddy said. He turns to look at Ed. "You're on my team, Ed!"

"Er, hold on... What I forgot to mention was that I've already chosen your teams! It'll be great, it's the perfect opportunity to make new friends!"

Half of the people present groan.

"While I'm at it..." Hyper pulled out a list, "...I might as well announce the teams right now. First off is **Team Second Banana**, made up of Falco and Luigi!"

"Hey, I'm no second banana!" an annoyed Falco growls.

Luigi however just hung his head, a bit forlorn. "Seems about-a right..."

"Secondly, we have **Team Probable Sociopaths**, with the Batter and Smile!"

"Damn. I wanted to be with Sabi." Smile says.

The Batter looks at Hyper with apprehension. "Sociopath? I am no sociopath. I am -"

"Yeah yeah, you're a holy warrior, Lil' Slugger, purification in progress and all that sick noise. Anyway, the next team on the list is **Team Stoic**, consisting of Madotsuki and ROB!"

ROB turns his head toward Madotsuki. "IT WILL BE NICE WORKING WITH YOU."

Madotsuki nodded her head in response. "You too."

"The next team is** Team Smartass**, with Pikachu and Edd!"

The boy looks down at the Pikachu, with lots of questions he wanted to ask running through his head, such as how Pokemon inherit their powers, and how a Pichu could just spontaneously metamorphosize into a Pikachu.

The Pokémon stared back, mainly looking at his hat. "Stop looking at me, sock-head."

Edd makes a little gasp. "Why, I never..."

"Then, we have Eddy and Sabitsuki making up** Team Awesome!**"

The two teens look at each other. "Do you have a spare pipe?" Eddy asked, pointing at the steel pipe tucked under Sabitsuki's arm.

"No. I'll find you one though, shorty."

This made Eddy snap. "Don't call me short!"

"Ah, I can just feel the tension in the air already. Next is Lucario and Urotsuki, of **Team All-Seeing!**"

Urotsuki scans Lucario with curious eyes. "Hey... are you capable of breaking bones?"

"Er... yes?" he answers the crazy girl.

"Perfect, I like you already~!"

"Second to last is Meta Knight and Ed, of** Team Powerhouse!**"

"Nice to meet you, young man." Meta Knight said, offering a handshake to the tall kid.

However, Ed was too busy staring at the sword in the knight's other hand. "...Is your sword made of buttered toast?"

"...No, I'm afraid not." With that comment, Meta Knight was already forming doubts.

"Lastly, we have** Team Nincompoop!**"

King Dedede and Fox had already figured out that they were the last team. Dedede however wasn't expecting the stupid name. "Do we really have to be Team Nincompoop?"

"Yep!"

"Aw, cheer up, Dedede!" Fox slings a friendly arm around his teammate's shoulder. "We can both be nincompoops!"

"...Yay..." Meanwhile, deep down, Dedede cried.

"Alright, is that everybody? Good." Hyper said before continuing on with the rules. "Now, as I said, it's a fight to the death; the team that remains in the end wins! As long as one person from your team is still alive by the end, your team still wins!

"Now, I'm aware that some of you don't have weapons or fighting skills..." Edd and Eddy nod. "To make things fair, I've hidden some weapons around Bismark that is accessible to everyone; the teams that contains the more weaker fighters will start out close to where a weapon can be found, to make things fair. Now, you don't necessarily have to kill to survive, either." A quarter of the fighters looked relieved. "As I mentioned earlier, the battlefield will change, and, if the changes happen to kill everybody else but your team survives, your team will win."

The Batter, being a part of this game world, was curious. "What changes are these?"

"Oh, you'll see. Now, any questions before we begin?"

"I do." Double D says with a raised arm. "I'm rather concerned about, well, you know, _dying_."

Hyper pointed at the box of items behind him. "I'll bring you back the same way as I did earlier."

Double D was about to question him how it's possible to raise the dead, but decided that since everything else makes no sense, he might as well roll with it.

"Anybody else?"

"Y-yeah." Luigi spoke out. "I have-a two questions: What if we-a don't want to-a participate?"

"Then I'll throw the coward off the building." Hyper answers plainly. "What about your second question?"

"...Never mind..."

"Anyone else? No? Good!" Hyper looks over the combatants. Half of them looked confident and willing to fight, while the other half looked frightened but tried to muster up whatever courage they had. "Let's start this thing!"

Then, beams of light shot down from the sky, engulfing each team. Then, the shafts of light begin to reappear around different parts of Bismark, redistributing the fighters. The author smiles as the rays crash down. He took out a folding chair and lays down on it, holding a pair of binoculars in one hand and a megaphone in the other.

"Let the games begin!" he shouted into the megaphone as the lights began to fade.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** For the Summer, I wanted to write a crossover thing, with all the characters I frequently write about hanging out, drinking coffee, getting stuck in an elevator, whatever. At the same time, I wanted to write something with Madotsuki, Sabitsuki, and Urotsuki fighting, to honor The Bowling Tourney, which was published last year. So, I decided to combine both ideas to bring this monstrosity. Hooray! This story will have eight chapters, counting this prologue and an epilogue, and hopefully, it won't take months to complete._

_Hmm. It's sad that the first story the Eds are appearing in after a year and a half is centered around a death match. Oh well. Anyway, tell me your thoughts on this bullshit in a review, because that would be appreciated._


	2. Chapter 2

_"Sometimes it seems my blood spurts out in gobs_  
_As if it were a fountain's pulsing sobs;_  
_I clearly hear it mutter as it goes,_  
_Yet cannot find the wound from which it flows._  
_Before I met you baby_  
_I didn't know what I was missing"_

_- Blood Beast, Space Funeral (taken from "The Fountain of Blood" by Charles Baudelaire and All Your Loving (I Miss Loving) by Otis Rush; goddamn it Blood Beast)_

_Anyway, it's been more than a month since the prologue. Let's get this started._

* * *

**_Chapter 1_**

* * *

**Team Nincompoop**

King Dedede and Fox find themselves on the steps leading up to the mall in the northern part of Bismark. The King seemed to be a bit worried. "Hey, Fox, do you think we can do this?"

"Hmm... I say that it's all in the cards, and, if we believe in the heart of the cards, we can win!" his fellow Smasher answers.

Dedede is not impressed by the answer. In fact, it ended up making him more anxious. Unfortunately, my version of Fox happens to be an idiot. "I was never in a story with him before; why am I stuck with him, of all people?" he thinks.

However, he decided not to say something offensive to Fox; Fox is a rather speedy person and regardless of his intelligence, he is still a good fighter and partner. "Right... okaaaay, heart of the cards it is." the penguin king looks around a bit. "Hmm... where should we go?"

"How about we go to the mall? We could ram people with shopping carts!" Fox suggests.

"I don't know... we might get trapped in there."

"Not if _we_ trap our trappers first!"

"...How about we go this way?" Dedede suggests nervously, pointing down the path that leads to the heart of the city.

"...Okay!"

Dedede breathes with relief as they started to go down the path; Fox is a rather cooperative person, which is another positive. Of course, if things with Fox don't turn out so well, Dedede still has his hammer to fall back on.

* * *

**Team Smartass**

Edd and Pikachu had spawned in the lobby of the library, in the center of the battlefield. They had immediately jumped over the counter and hid behind it, staying out of sight from anyone that enters the building.

"I can't believe that a library is the tallest building in this city!" an excited Edd says. "Oh, I can only imagine the foreign tales that can be found in this place, evidence of the area's culture, its-"

"Zip it, sockhead." Pikachu says.

"...Well, you don't have to be so rude." replies Eddward. He was already disliking his partner. He briefly glances over the counter. "No sign of anybody yet... it's probably for the better."

"Yeah, I guess so." the Pokémon searches under the counter. "...So kid, you got a weapon?"

"...Kid? I have you know that I'm-"

"I'm seventeen."

"...Oh. I guess that gives you the right to call me... kid." he coughs. "To answer your question, no, I do not have a weapon, nor the physical strength to even stand a chance against the competition."

Pikachu pulls a baseball bat out. 'Here, I found this."

"A b-bat? I don't think I could-"

The Pokémon then glares at him. A glare that penetrates the soul and only speaks an awful truth. "Do you want to get viciously killed without a fighting chance?"

"N-NO!"

"Then stop being a goddamn wimp and take the bat."

Edd takes the bat and holds it in nervous, shaky hands. "R-right... however, even if I'm armed now, I doubt that we can charge at any of the other teams. Instead, I propose that we continue to hide here. As soon as we see somebody walk outside, we wait for them to pass out of sight and sneak behind them for an ambush."

Pikachu thought about it for a bit before nodding. "Sounds like a good plan."

Double D smiles, glad that they can reach an understanding. "While we're waiting, we should discuss our strengths and weaknesses and factor it into a strategy." He clears his throat. "As I stated before, I am rather frail. However, I have a calculating mind to make up for it; well, I'm the smartest among my fellow peers back home, at any rate. What say you?"

"Well, unless you haven't played Pokémon..."

"I'm a casual fan." Double D interrupts.

Pikachu was starting to think that his partner is a bit of a loser. "...anyway, I'm obviously an electric type-"

"I can tell by your lightning bolt shaped tail; what a distinguishing mark, if I do say so myse-"

"Will you give it a rest?"

"...S-sorry. Please, continue."

"...I'm an electric type Pokémon, so I'm weak to ground attacks. I can take down flying and watery opponents, but none of the assholes here look like they can fly, so why bother? My electric attacks can hit people from a distance and I'm pretty fast, but I can get knocked around pretty easily."

"Hmm... interesting..." the boy ponders for a bit. He looks over the library counter before returning to his discussion with Pikachu. "Okay, I believe I have a strategy. Now, when a team outside passes by the library entrance, I want you to strike one of them with a quick lightning attack. Naturally, the other will try to investigate the matter and, with no one else in sight, they're most likely to come in here. From there, I'll try my best to, erm, whack them with this bat, if one was to put it that way."

"...I like your thinking, kid."

* * *

**Team Powerhouse**

"Oh cool!" Ed exclaims. "It's the Pink Rollercoaster of Doom, from the movie "_The Fair of Fear and Nausea!"_

The team appeared to have lucked out. Instead of spawning in the main portion of Bismark, they appeared on the island west of the mainland - the amusement park of Zone 2. Ed looked absolutely thrilled with their position.

Meta Knight regards his partner with confusion. "_The Fair of Fear and Nausea"?_"

"Yeah! It's this movie from the 80's where these zombie mutants open up this fair and build all these cool and scary rides!"

"...Why...?"

"They needed to harvest all the barf and bodily fluids to use as fuel, so they can fly their mutant rocket to the planet of Undead Jupiter!"

This is one of the rare moments where Meta Knight was at a lack of words.

"It's a great movie, and we could watch it later if you want, Sir Knight Guy. Please bring gravy-flavored popcorn though. I like the gravy-flavored popcorn, but my mom says it's a waste of money, and mom's the word."

"That's... rather nice of you." the knight admits. The tall boy makes a dopey grin, radiating an aura of friendliness. Meta Knight already found him a bit endearing; he reminds him of Fox, except with an apparent fondness for B-movies. Also, there was a good chance that Ed was dumber than Fox. "..However, that's not important right now. We have a deathmatch to compete in; well, we're being forced to compete, but the point still stands.

"Now, since this amusement park is separate from the mainland, we can hide out here for awhile. However, I wouldn't be surprised if somebody tries to come here."

"While we're hiding out, can we get popcorn?"

"I... doubt that there's anyone here to sell us some, but we can look around if you wish."

"Yay!" Ed jumps up with glee. "I'll have mine with gravy, thank you!"

"...O-okay..."

* * *

**Team Second Banana**

Meanwhile, far away from the amusement park, Falco observes the metallic island from the west end of Bismark. He grunts with irritation, seeing no way to get there; nor a way to access a smaller island halfway across the odd waters. "Hmm... well, looks like we have no vehicle, and I'm suspicious about this stupid water."

Luigi frowns. He walks up to the "water" and takes off his left glove. The glove drops into the liquid... and he watches in horror as the glove slowly melts as it sinks. "Y-y-yeah! No way we are-a swimming across!"

His fellow Smasher turns and faces toward the library. "Hmph. It looks like we also spawned in a dead-end too. Stupid Hyper, being an asshole and forcing us to fight in a deathmatch..."

The two Smashers, united in their statuses as Butt Monkey, stood there sighing, wondering how the match will go.

"...We've-a got some competition, h-huh?" Luigi asks with a nervous gulp.

Falco furrows his eyebrows and nods. "Yeah. Some of them look like pushovers, but the others might kick our asses."

"O-or kick our-a butts into that liquid..." the plumber adds, glancing at the weird lava that ate up his glove.

Unknowingly, he had flipped the switch to Falco's imaginary lightbulb. The avian makes a devilish grin. "Kicking butts into that liquid, eh? ...Luigi, we're staying right here, got it?"

"B-but you-a just complained that it-a was a dead-e-"

"Damn it, work with me here, Luigi."

* * *

**Team All-Seeing**

"Hey, do you smell that?" Urotsuki asks.

"No...?" a confused Lucario replies.

"That's the smell of ferocious tension, waiting to spill some blood and add some red to this place. Catharsis will be unleashed, and chaos will spread until the place is red." she pauses. "I was trying to be poetic just now, but even I admit that fucking sucked."

"Oh, sure."

The Pokémon already disliked his partner due to her actions back at the top of the tower; he could already feel that this is going to be a frustrating and somewhat terrifying partnership.

Urotsuki gleefully skips around the area. They had spawned in the eastern part of Zone 2, which was the residential district. Oddly, there were no citizens infesting the relaxing, though a bit bland, pink buildings. "Hm. No practice targets here. What a shame. I've been a bit rusty lately."

"Practice targets? You mean... people?"

"Like, duh."

"What?" Lucario stops walking to stare at her in shock. "You wish to kill innocents?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, why not?" she looks up at him, a bored look on her face. "What other purpose would they have on a battlefield, anyway?"

"I-I..." now the dislike's turning into disgust.

"Don't be surprised. They hardly matter. We don't come from here, so why care about some random dipshits from here~?" the blonde girl smiles. "Besides, they're just collateral damage in this game. Nothing more, nothing less~"

Lucario stares at her, a horrified expression on his face. "N-no offense, but..."

"What can you do?" she interrupts.

"I - excuse you?"

"I mean, what can you do? Like, combat skills? Hello, this isn't rocket science."

"Oh, I can use aura based attacks and..." he hesitates. If she knew about his ability to see things from a distance, they would easily take the competition.

And he didn't want to win. Especially with the guilt that comes with being on a team with a complete psychopath. "...I'm also skilled at hand-to-hand combat."

Urotsuki looked ecstatic, impressed even. "Really? How cool~! Oh, I can just tell that this partnership will be great!"

"...Yeah. It's going to be great..." he mumbles as they head out of the residential area and into the central area.

* * *

**Team Stoic**

Far above the heads of Team Smartass, Madotsuki and ROB were nestled within the realm of bookshelves. The robotic ROB rolls up to the nearest window and looks out of it to get a feel on how high up they were. "AMAZING... IS THIS LIBRARY REALLY THIS TALL? I MUST FIND OUT WHO BUILT THIS PLACE. I COULD HIRE THEM TO DO SOME WORK ON THE CASTLE; THE SMASHERS CONTINUE TO GROW UNSATISFIED WITH THEIR LIVING QUARTERS."

Behind him, Madotsuki shuffles her feet, looking at ROB with a curious look in her tired eyes. "..."

The robot turns. "OH? ARE YOU OKAY? IS IT BECAUSE I'M IGNORING YOU? I APOLOGIZE IF I'M IGNORING YOU."

"N-no. I'm fine." Madotsuki answers. She's usually okay with being ignored; besides, she gets involved in less weirder things this way. "It's just that... are you... the Robotic Operating Buddy? On the Famicom?"

"HMM? OH. WHY, YES I AM."

Madotsuki smiles a little. "I used to have a ROB myself; of course, where I come from, you were called the Family Computer Robot. It's... well, erm, sad that you didn't have more games."

"YES, I SUPPOSE IT IS UNFORTUNATE. HOWEVER, I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY CURRENT POSITION AMONG THE SMASHERS." the robot pauses. "ARE YOU A FAN OF-"

"I really love video games." she mumbles in a fond tone. "I only have a Famicom now, though... I wish I hadn't lost my MOTHER cartridge... it would, um, make things more bearable for me..."

"I SEE. ARE YOU A FAN OF THE MOTHER SERIES?" ROB asks, unaware that they were now veering completely off-topic.

For the first time in any of my stories, Madotsuki makes a loud, happy squeak. "I love the MOTHER series! It's really lovely, and..."

They then spend the next several minutes gushing about MOTHER and Earthbound and stuff.

* * *

**Team Probable Sociopaths**

At the south of Bismark, the Batter and Smile had spawned where the former would usually spawn from the Nothingness. The Batter looks ahead, sighs, and starts walking toward the city, bat clenched in his hand.

Smile followed behind the quiet man, frowning, frustrated at the man's silence. "It hasn't even been ten seconds, and I'm already bored", Smile thinks. After a few more seconds of silence, Smile coughs to catch the Batter's attention. "So... is The Batter really your name?"

The Batter didn't even turn around. "No."

Well, duh, Smile thought. "What is it then?" he questions.

"It doesn't matter."

The raven haired boy grunts in frustration. "You're no fun."

"I'm not here to have fun, boy." the pale man answers, still not looking back. "I need to finish with this nonsense as fast as possible so that I may continue my mission. So, don't distract me with your small talk."

"Fine... boring asshole..."

"I heard that."

* * *

**Team Awesome**

"Alright shortstuff, ready to kick some ass?" Sabitsuki says, trying to motivate her partner.

"Fine, just don't call me short."

"I make no promises. So, do ya have a weapon?"

Eddy reaches into his pocket and yanks out a yo-yo. "...Yeah, this is trash."

"Definitely won't work. But hey, look around you." she gestures at their surroundings. They were inside the mall, in the northern part of the Zone, where Team Nincompoop had spawned. There were crates lying around the blue halls, with plastic mannequins and posters occasionally dotting the area. "We're in a damn mall. I'm sure we can find something for you, shorty."

The short boy growls in annoyance. "I told you, don't call me short, you... you hag!"

The taller girl glares at him. "'scuse me?"

"That's right, a hag! You have the hair of an old bat!"

"An old bat...?" she continued to glare at him, her eyes piercing her partner.

He glares back, with an equally piercing gaze.

Then, Sabitsuki smiles. "I'm starting to like you."

* * *

**Team Smartass**

"...?" Double D peeks over the counter, one hand on top, the other trying to grab his wooden bat.

"What's happening?" Pikachu questions.

"Um, I may be wrong - and it would be terrible if your opinion of me worsens - but, I think I can hear someone outside the building."

* * *

**Team Nincompoop**

"...so, I was thinking that Meta, Pikachu and I should go get some lunch after this, to like, make up for this whole think, ya know?" Fox blabbers to Dedede as they reached the library.

"Hmm." Dedede had long since gotten bored of Fox, as he was ranting to him in an effort to raise their support level (or strengthen their partnership/friendship or level up their social link; whatever term works best for you).

"I was thinking of getting ice cream or - ooh, actually, we should totally get ice cream and... Dedede?" Fox stops in his tracks.

Dedede kept walking, unaware. "Hmm."

"Er... Dedede?"

"Hmm."

Fox grabs the back of his robes.

"H-hey, please don't touch m-"

Then, he sees what Fox was trying to get him to see.

Another team was with them at the central part of the battlefield: Team All-Seeing. Urotsuki was giving them a twisted grin, while fumbling around with her chainsaw. Lucario, standing next to her, looks at them with an apologetic look on his face, as if saying, hey, I'm sorry I'm working with this psycho.

"H-hey..." Dedede holds up his arms, in self defense. When things are bleak, peace (read as: begging) is the best option before resorting to all-out fighting. "Lucario, you won't hurt me, right? We're still buds, right?"

The Pokémon stands there, thinking back to their time together in the Normals: though Dedede was a bit cowardly and selfish back then, he was still considered a Normal. Even though the Normals are now disbanded, Lucario was still fond of those days, and still sees Dedede as a friend. With a resounding nod, Lucario states, "No, I'll never hurt you."

Dedede clasps his hands, overjoyed that he didn't have to fight his stronger and powerful friend. "Thanks, Lucario! You're the be-"

"Die, you fat bastard!"

Lucario, Dedede, and Fox were all too distracted with the hokey friendship scene that they didn't notice that Urotsuki had snuck out of sight... and is now at Dedede's side, with a ready chainsaw. Dedede tries to reach behind his back for his hammer, but it was too late.

The penguin king screams as the metal tears at his side. Grinning, his attacker swings the chainsaw through his body, tearing him up and leaving a large gash in his body. Dedede stumbles and falls forward, gasping, a bit of blood dripping from his mouth. A puddle of blood forms at his stomach, some innards spilling out as well.

It was too late to do anything.

Fox looks at Dedede's body with widened eyes then at Urotsuki, who was reveling in her deed. "...Welp..." then, he turns around and starts running. "Nope nope _nope nope...!_"

Urotsuki tries to dash after him, but she understandably doesn't get far, given that she's lugging around a huge chainsaw. "Huff... hey, go after him, will you?"

Her partner didn't listen. Instead, he was standing over King Dedede's body. His friend was making ragged breaths, quickly approaching death. The king's eyes looks up at him - scared, but unblaming. Then...

**KING DEDEDE HAS BEEN KILLED BY UROTSUKI!**

The confused murderer looks at the central building and scans her eyes upward, where the announcement came from. "Oh, that's where Hyper is."

Meanwhile, Lucario was in complete shock. "You... you killed my friend..."

"...Your... friend? That loser really was your friend? I thought he was kidding..."

Lucario continued to stare down at the fresh corpse.

Suddenly, he feels a soft hand on his arm. "Hey... um... I'm sorry. I would have killed that other guy if I had known."

Lucario was shocked by how she was acting; she acted like a depraved psychopath just earlier, yet now, she's displaying some regrets and morals (in some sort of twisted way).

Perhaps they could talk about this later. For now, though... "...Thanks... I think. But... we should really move away from here. This is the center of the place, after all, and other people might be here soon..."

"Hm. Good point. It'd suck to get swarmed." she agrees, while looking at Dedede and trying to contain her glee.

Lucario turned away from the body and tries to force it out of his mind, instead, facing the tower. "We could hide out in this tower for now. We might find another team in there, too."

"Sounds good."

* * *

**Team Smartass**

Edd and Pikachu lays on the floor, afraid. Soft, somewhat somber footsteps which were followed by another set accompanied by the sound of dragging metal fills their ears. The sounds started to move higher and higher until the two could no longer hear it.

After a few seconds of nervous shaking, Edd questions in a hushed tone, "W-Why didn't you try to electrocute th-them?"

"Dude..." Pikachu shivers. "That crazy bitch is already scary as it is, a-and Lucario is r-really tough, and I should know..."

"...Y-You're right... that team is quite... f-formidable..."

"We should leave. T-those two will be coming down sooner or later."

Double D's eyes widens as he realized that fact. He tries to stand up, but his constant shaking made him fall over.

"Damn it, don't make so much noise!" Pikachu quietly hisses.

"It's n-not like I'm trying!" the human quietly replies.

* * *

**Team Probable Sociopaths**

The two were taken aback by the sudden announcement, but neither said anything about it, due to the awkward tension between them. They cautiously stroll into the center of the Zone, when...

"Run, run away!" a voice screams. The Batter turns his head; he sees a panicking Fox running in their direction.

He raises his bat and delivers a glare toward Fox. "Purification in progres-"

Fox was too frightened to fight, so, he jumps up, dropkicks the Batter, and continues on his way. Smile tries to run after him, trying to get something from out of his pocket, but the anthro was too fast for him.

So, he settles for laughing at the Batter. "Haha~."

"Don't mock me." he groans from the ground.

* * *

**Team Powerhouse**

Meta Knight had been staring into the plastic ocean that surrounded the amusement park island since Dedede's death was announced. Ed walks up to him, carrying snacks under one of his arms.

"Pretzel?" he offers in a friendly manner.

The knight was baffled on how he even managed to gather snacks, but he appreciated the sentiment. "Thank you." he says, taking the treat from the boy.

* * *

**Team Stoic**

The girl and the robot had witnessed the scene from high in the library, watching the scene from a window. Madotsuki didn't seem to be disturbed by the sight of the mutilated penguin. She was pretty much used to this. "I'm not surprised that Urotsuki has the first kill..."

"REALLY? DO YOU PERSONALLY KNOW HER?"

"Sadly, we're friends." she says, sighing. "But, er, she's sort of nice to the people she likes. At least. She's... pretty dangerous."

"I CAN TELL. THAT CUT SHE MADE IN DEDEDE LOOKS VICIOUS. I WOULD MOURN HIM, BUT I DOUBT THAT THE AUTHOR WILL KEEP HIM DEAD FOR LONG. AS DISTURBING AS THIS ALL IS, HE DID SAY THAT HE'LL REVIVE EVERYONE THAT GETS KILLED."

"He... could be lying. He did, um, chop his left hand off once and lured my friends and I to a bowling tournament to get us killed."

"HE WHAT."

"Not important."

"RIGHT. WE SHOULD FOCUS ON THIS MATCH RATHER THAN TALK ABOUT GAMES. ASSUMING THAT THERE ISN'T A HIDDEN PATH IN THIS LIBRARY BEHIND A BOOKSHELF OF SOME SORT, THERE IS NO WAY TO GO BUT UP. UNFORTUNATELY, TEAM ALL-SEEING MAY RUN INTO US SOONER OR LATER. AS ADMINISTRATOR OF THE SMASHERS, I KNOW LUCARIO'S COMBAT EXPERIENCE FIRST-HAND, AND COMBINED WITH YOUR FRIEND, THEY'RE A FORMIDABLE FORCE."

Madotsuki, fumbling with a knife handle, was inspecting a bookcase. "...Okay, I doubt that there's any secret passages. Plus, all the bookcases are lining the walls and, um, we're sort of in a tower so... yeah..."

ROB scans his surroundings, looking for a possible way out. There was only one way they can go that didn't involve climbing further up or heading down to meet the other team.

He strolls up to one of the windows and smashes it with his robotic arms.

"Did you hear that?" a faint but audible voice says from below.

"MISS MADOTSUKI!" ROB calls. "STAND ON TOP OF MY BASE. I WILL HOVER US OUT OF HERE."

The hikikomori stammers a bit, but she decides to trust the robot. She stands on the base of the machine, hugging her arms around his metallic body. She was not sure what to expect from his partner, that is, until they started to lift off the floor. ROB, activating the thrusters underneath his base, tried to balance himself before flying through the window. They float above the pink sea of buildings, practically flipping off all the poor saps that have to walk.

Madotsuki looks back at the library and frowns. "There are balconies... you didn't need to smash that window..."

* * *

**Team Second Banana**

Luigi and Falco, still in the same place as before, were looking up into the sky in awe, where a girl riding on a flying robot could clearly be seen.

"This is quite the competition." Falco comments, making an impressed whistle.

"F-First someone kills-a Dedede, then ROB-a shows off his flying skills!" Luigi says, with a pouty face.

"Yeah... I'm sure that Dedede will be fine." he briefly thinks of his friend lying in a puddle of blood. "...I'm sure."

* * *

**Team Smartass**

While the two were gazing, they failed to notice Team Smartass heading in their direction.

"What do you suppose they're looking at?" Double D follows their gaze up to the sky and is amazed by the sight, his eyes gleaming with scientific curiosity. "Oh my, that robot can fly? How fascinating! Where does it store its fuel to run its thrusters - or, does it use an alternative fuel source?"

"Will you shut up?" Pikachu hisses.

He purses his lips in annoyance.

"Look, those two idiots are too busy staring at ROB - I say it's a nice time for an ambush!"

* * *

**Team Second Banana**

One moment, they were staring at ROB and Madotsuki, as if they were a balloon floating through the air.

The next, Falco was screaming as an electrical bolt circulates through his body. He falls onto the ground, conscious, but very much in pain. Luigi looks down the pathway and he sees Pikachu dashing toward them, shooting small electric shocks and Edd, lumbering toward him with his bat.

Luigi yelps and jumps over the shocks and toward Pikachu. With little precision, he stomps the Pokémon into the ground and jumps off of him.

"E-excuse me!" Edd yells at Luigi as he closes in. "I-I'm sorry sir, but I have to..." he tried to swing at the plumber, but not only does he miss, but he also spins around and falls over. "...Curse my physical condition..."

"Are you-a okay...?" Luigi wasn't sure what to do in this situation. As vulnerable as the boy was, he wasn't one to beat up kids.

"No worries." he replies, as if they weren't currently enemies.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the spectrum, Falco and Pikachu were trying their damnedest to kill each other. Falco was trying to stomp on the mouse, but he kept weaving around his legs. In return, Pikachu tried to electrocute him again, but now that he was expecting it, Falco rolled out of the way of his shocks. They did manage to give each other small punches and scratches, but they seem to be going nowhere.

Falco however knew a quick way to break the stalemate. He launches a kick at Pikachu, who quickly ducks under his leg.

Taking advantage of this, the avian grabs his tail.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Pikachu snaps.

Falco does not answer his question, instead, saying, "Sorry for this."

With a swing of the arm, he throws Pikachu into the plastic.

Upon touching the liquid, Pikachu screams. He kept screaming as he sinks into the stuff. A few seconds later, Pikachu's head emerges Crocomire style - horrible disfigured and bleeding. All he could really do was scream as he sinks in once more. He did not emerge a second time.

**PIKACHU HAS BEEN KILLED BY FALCO!**

Falco wipes the sweat from his brow, unnerved by Pikachu's gruesome death - and the fact that he caused it.

Luigi throws up in the plastic.

Edd, however, had a look of pure horror on his face. The image of Pikachu's death had been burned into his terrified eyes.

Falco and Luigi glance at each other, the same idea in mind. "Er... listen kid..." Falco says. "I'm not sure about anyone else, but us two sure as hell don't beat up kids. You don't have to be scare-"

"_Liars!_" Double D declares, pointing an accusing finger at them. "Y-You're just saying that to catch me off guard! I assume that you're going to offer me a comforting hug to play with my emotions, lift me up, and throw me into that... _deadly liquid_, so that I may p-perish like my comrade! I'm correct, aren't I?"

"No! I don't even like hugging peopl-"

"Liars! You cannot fool me! _I will not let you kill me!_"

Luigi tries to approach him. "We're-a sorry abo-"

Double D lets out a frenzied scream and swings his weapon at Luigi's stomach, which actually connects this time. While the green man was doubling over in pain, Edd took the opportunity to run away screaming.

* * *

**Team Stoic**

ROB started to slow his rockets down as they descended into the residential building. He lands himself in the plaza of the area and allows Madotsuki to get off.

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I'm fine. It was actually pretty exciting, actually. I've only ever flown in my dreams." she says quietly.

"GLAD TO HEAR THAT. NOW, WE MUST BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS."

"Got it." Madotsuki answers, pulling her knife out.

* * *

**Team Powerhouse**

Meta Knight goes back to staring at the plastic, a half-eaten pretzel lying on the ground uselessly. Yet another friend of his, dead - and by the hands of another friend, too.

Ed returns, carrying even more food from who knows where. Although the mask shielded the knight's face, Ed could tell that he was despondent. "Cheer up, Mr. Grumpy Knight! I know how to turn that frown upside down, and I should know, because I'm a vet!"

"Er, I'm not an anima-"

Ed takes out a ketchup packet, rips it open, and squeezes out a happy face on his mask.

Meta Knight isn't entirely sure how to respond to that.

* * *

**Team Awesome**

"So, that's another one biting the dust." mutters Sabitsuki, reflecting on the announcement of Pikachu's demise while they walked through the mall.

"We better not be next." Eddy says. His bored eyes scan the walls, looking at the posters, until he finds something interesting. "What the heck is this?"

On the wall is a button shaped like the walk signal for people crossing the street. "Dunno." Sabitsuki answers. "Let's try it out."

She presses the button. The two wait around for a bit, but then it became apparent to them that the button did not affect anything (that they know of). "What a rip."

* * *

**Team Second Banana**

"What the hell is that?" Falco openly questions.

After Sabitsuki had pressed the button, a giant wooden swan had appeared in the plastic behind Falco and Luigi.

Luigi (holding his arms around his stomach) looks at it for a few seconds, as baffled as Falco was, before he exclaims, "It's a pedalo!"

"A what?"

"It's a boat that is-a controlled by peddling, like a bike-a." Luigi explains. A dreamy expression comes on his face. "Daisy once-a took me out for a ride... we-a went to the movies after-a that and-"

"That's really sweet and all, but can you save the story for later?" Falco carefully gets into the odd vehicle, trying his best to not get the plastic splashed on him. "

"...Can I-a tell it while we're-a paddling? It's a good-a story!"

"...Fine. Just get in."

* * *

**Team Probable Sociopaths**

After recovering, the Batter headed toward the west side of the city (with an ignored Smile following silently). Unfortunately, he makes it just in time to see Team Second Banana departing from the mainland.

"Are you kidding me." The Batter groans, smacking himself in the face.

Falco turns his head to look at them, making a cocky smile. "So long, suckers!"

"Today just isn't your day, huh?" Smile asks, nudging the Batter's shoulder and chuckling.

"...Why do you keep talking to me...?"

* * *

**Team All-Seeing**

The two were still in the process of ascending the tower, still trying to find someone. They had earlier found the broken window that ROB exited from, but they simply dismissed it as a broken window; there didn't seem to be anything on the ground outside, especially not a body of an idiot that jumped out the window.

Lucario glances at Urotsuki, his mind still affixed on her apology and the bleeding corpse of his friend. He was wondering about something... "Hey..."

"Hmm?"

"Were you... sincere? About that apology?"

"Yeah." she answers, truth lacing her words. "You're my partner, so, I consider you as a friend. Unless you fucking piss me off. Otherwise, I make sure my friends are happy, ya know? I once had friends, buuuut..." she stares at the stairs as they ascend yet another stairwell. "...It feels nice having friends. Makes me feel less like a monster."

"Oh..." the Pokémon didn't know what to say next. "I... um... I'm glad that you're... not a complete psychopath...?"

She smiles. "I take that as a compliment."

* * *

**Team Nincompoop**

Fox leans against the front wall of the shopping mall, wheezing from all the running he's done. He looks at the entrance and thinks back to earlier, "...We should have pushed carts instead..."

* * *

**Team Stoic**

Madotsuki was staying in the northernmost building of the residential area, while ROB patrolled around to see if anyone else was hiding in the area. The bored girl switches her knife from her left hand to the ride hand, and vice versa, waiting for him to return - she rather enjoyed talking about games with him.

Then, she hears footsteps.

"Oh, you're ba..." she shuts her mouth.

ROB doesn't make footsteps.

Somebody entirely human runs in, letting out frenzied screaming while wielding a baseball bat - a meek kid in a hat.

He swings at her, but she easily catches the bat. Edd's instability was probably the cause for the failure. "A-are you.. okay?" It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was seriously unhinged.

"I... I need to... to eliminate..." Edd huffs. "I... don't... want to be killed... I need to eliminate you all so that... so..."

Then, something flies in through a window, shattering it - a spinning top. "GET AWAY FROM HER." ROB's electric voice speaks out. The robot then rolls into the building, staring Edd down.

Edd gasps and spins to hit ROB; he fails miserably and falls over, a pathetic heap. "I... I don't want to... burn..."

"What's wrong with him?" Madotsuki quietly asks, a bit concerned.

ROB searches his memory. "...HE WAS THE PARTNER OF PIKACHU. HE MUST HAVE WITNESSED HIS DEATH, AND IT MAY HAVE BEEN SO TRAUMATIC TO THE BOY, THAT IT CAUSED HIM TO BREAKDOWN. CONSIDERING THAT HE COMES FROM A PLACE WHERE ALL VIOLENCE IS CARTOONY AND BLOODLESS, THIS ISN'T SURPRISING."

The boy stayed on the floor, tears now dripping from his eyes. "Dying... I don't want to... die like he did... I don't want to... burn..."

ROB and Madotsuki stare at him, feeling bad for the pitiful thing. "THEN... I SHALL MAKE IT QUICK."

He lowers his head.

"...I... don't..."

ROB then fires a laser from his eyes into his head.

**EDD HAS BEEN KILLED BY ROB!**

* * *

**Team Awesome**

Eddy was holding a crate and was shifting through its contents when the announcement came. He drops the box on his foot, but he didn't seem to notice the pain. "_Ed?_"

**...OOPS, WAIT. BY EDD, I MEAN ED WITH TWO D'S.**

That was even worse. "_What?_"

Sabitsuki heard his scream of outrage and comes over. "What's wrong, shorty?"

Eddy didn't even try to reprimand her.

The look of shock told Sabitsuki all she needed to know.

* * *

**Team Powerhouse**

"_Double-D!_" Ed screams.

Meta Knight awakes from his despair upon hearing him scream to see the despair Ed now had. "I-it will be fine, Ed. He will be brought back to life." he pauses, remembering the melodramatic mood that he just left - he then realized that it was pointless to be all mopey about it. "..As will the others."

"B-b-but..." Ed's lips quivers. "W-Who could hurt a fluffy bunny like Double D? He'd never hurt a fly, because the flies beat on him in Russia! W-who would hurt my p-pal?"

The knight approaches him and pats his arm (since he can't exactly reach the tall boy's shoulder). "It'll all be okay..."

"But... he was hurt and..."

Meta Knight could see the cultural differences between them now; while Meta Knight was used to a world where death was just a slap on the wrist, it's a big deal to the boy. All he could do is pat, trying to comfort the boy.

* * *

**Team Second Banana**

"So, just like that, a team's wiped out already." Falco says, grunting as he goes back to pedaling. "Can't believe that the Ancient Minister was the one to do the kid in, though."

"W-Well... would you-a put it past him...?"

"..." Falco wasn't sure how to respond.

* * *

**Chapter 1 Aftermath**

The author tosses his megaphone to the side and inspects the three bodies that were teleported to the top of the library: a huge body with a large gash where its stomach used to be, a melted clump that looks vaguely yellow, and one with a smoldering head.

When in doubt, using a Phoenix Down!

Three feathers float down onto the bodies and they cast a shimmering light. Suddenly, the three corpses sit upright, now fully intact, alive, yet exhausted with lowered self-esteem

Hey, congrats, Dedede, Pikachu, and Edd - you were the first three guys to lose!

Dedede shrugs, being used to his loser status in my stories. Pikachu groans in frustration and slaps himself. Edd stares off into nothing in particular.

You three will be staying up here to observe the battle from here on out. Refreshments and snacks are available-

"Sweet!" the penguin exclaims.

-anyway, before I close off this chapter, do you guys have any comments?

"I'm glad to be a loser!" Dedede says, while picking through an ice cooler.

"That water was fucked up." says Pikachu with a shudder.

Double D does not provide an answer, instead, he falls on his side and clutches his knees to his chest.

...And there you have it, folks! So, seven teams are left, with one of them only having one member. What will happen next, especially when I introduce my first surprise? Find out in the next chapter, which will release eventually!

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Be honest: given my track record, were you surprised that King Dedede, Pikachu, and Edd were the first to die? It certainly didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was that I picked these guys via random number generator. Apparently, even random systems have it in for them._


End file.
